Please pay attention to 1) the collocations in this sample. To get a band 7, you don't need to learn "big" or "difficult" words. You need to learn how to use words together. You need to use good collocations. 2) The paraphrase in the last two paragraphs. Don’t bring any new ideas in your conclusion, and what you have to do is paraphrase/re-state your ideas in previous paragraphs.
Some people believe the best way to protect the environment is to reduce the amount of air travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Whilst air travelling does contribute to vast amounts of carbon emissions which produce unhealthy environments, I believe there are other determinants that need to be controlled, that have greater detrimental effects on the environment, which is why I elect to disagree with the view the cutting air travel is the best way to tackle environmental problem.
It is widely acknowledged that air travelling has some impact on the environment; however, due to its critical role in transportation, it would appear unrealistic to halt its use and purpose for the conservation of the environment. The wider community is blessed with the benefits of air travel that brings with it opportunities to drive economic and social progress, connect people, countries and cultures, provide access to global markets, generate trade and tourism, forge links between developed and developing nations.
The best way to enhance the quality of air, embrace stable weather, minimise climate change, preserve ecosystems, conserve land and water, promote vibrancy amongst our plants and wildlife is to: reduce the use of cars where ever possible, eradicate smoke smouldering factories, minimise consumer plastic usage, manufacture eco-friendly CFC free aerosols, monitor the landscape to control bushfires more intensely, install solar panels on homes and factories and improve waste management processes.
I believe that reducing the amount of air travel is not the answer to protecting the environment. There are more feasible ways such as making more hybrid vehicles, intensifying the management of human activity such as mining, manufacturing, burning fossil fuels such as coal and petroleum, limiting or reducing bush fires that have catastrophic effects on the environment.
(265 words, band 9)